“Well, who are you? (Who are you? who, who, who, who?). I really wanna know (Who are you? who, who, who, who?). Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? who, who, who, who?). ‘Cause I really wanna know. (Who are you? who, who, who, who?). – Who Are You? (1978) The Who. Composer: Pete Townshend.
WARNING: The following is a story based on actual events.
The breeze was slight, but balmy on that October evening of 1963. The horizon was painted in orange stirred in hints of pink and mauve hues as a velvet black slowly crawled across the sky. Holding a basket full of Tootsie Rolls, Juicy Fruit gum and candy corn, she eagerly waited in her living room for the next goblin to come knocking. The festive excitement showed on her face in the glow of the lit Jack-o-lantern on the end-table. Expecting guests, she wore her finest pearls, kid-leather pumps, complete with a gold charm bracelet. Yet, this was no ordinary Halloween night in her Greenville, Texas neighborhood. Little did she know the sinister duo approaching her home from out of the darkened street. With Buddy Holly softly playing on her cabinet stereo, she heard the frightening voices anew at her door.
“Trick-or-Treat!” An unanticipated chuckle came out of her mouth as she jumped up off the couch with the candy basket in hand. As she innocently approached the front door, she could not have imagined the monstrosity awaiting just outside. As she gleefully opened the creaking door, there, standing perfectly still and silent under the porch-light, were two 3-year old boys staring deeply into her eyes. With a gasp, she held her hand over her heart while absorbing the sight. She squinted to see two young mothers standing near the curb watching carefully over the lads. Her head cocked slightly to one side as she noticed something odd about the boy’s appearance. There was a lack of costumes. They both were wearing button up shirts, cuffed bluejeans with Buster Brown lace-up shoes. They both held simple lunch-sized paper bags in their hands with the top edges folded down. The two had cheap plastic masks strapped over their faces. One youngster had a mask of a Teddy Bear, while the other depicted Mickey Mouse. A couple of seconds passed until she found the breath to speak.
Lady: Well, hello, you two. Happy Halloween! Before I give you some treats, I think I might know who you are. So, why don’t you tell me your names? Go ahead, don’t be shy.
Boy A: I’m Teddy Bear.
Boy B: And I’m Mickey Mouse.
Lady: (Giggling) Yes, I can see that. But, what are YOUR names? Let’s start with you, young man. And you are…?
Boy A: I’m Teddy Bear.
Boy B: And I’m Mickey Mouse.
Lady: (Belly laughter) I know. But who are YOU? I really wanna know. Come on, tell me, who are you, really?
Boy A: I’m Teddy Bear.
Boy B: And I’m Mickey Mouse.
(I wonder if Pete Townshend heard this story and based his lyrics on the two kids of the mask.)
(L-R: Woody, our grandmother Opal and me, one year later – 1964).
I will assume the poor lady surrendered and gave my cousin, Woody and I, our candy. Woody was Mickey and I was Teddy. My mom remembers it as if it were yesterday. She, along with my Aunt Ellen (Woody’s mom), just split their sides laughing the entire time. One thing is for certain, we were obviously not, under any circumstances, going to give up the characters played. After all, it was Halloween when nobody was supposed to know who was under the mask. Right?
My granddaughter is very much into masks and make-up. It must be in the genes. Each year I am always surprised at what she and her mom creatively put together. It’s a shame, she’s got such a sweet face.
Masks are nothing new. Historical records tells the tale.
During the times of the ancient Greeks, the dramatic arts were the pastime of society. Unlike today, each actor held up a mask on a stick to cover the face as a role was played on stage. In fact, even today, the classic masks of comedy and tragedy represent drama and the theater in general.
Unfortunately, so many of us tend to do the same each day, as if we are playing characters in an amphitheater. Have you noticed?
Recently, I was at an event where many of my old high school friends were in attendance. It was a glorious night of hugs, laughter and recollections. 99% of my old friends were more mature, but somehow extremely timeless, some even ageless. Many of us picked up conversation as if four decades hadn’t gone by. Then, one of my high school acquaintances was spotted across the room. This person was born into a family of great wealth. If this person skinned a knee on the gym floor, the blood would’ve been blue. We were never close. There was always an air about this individual. You know the type. The kid was from the realm of community royalty and it was played out for all it was worth. (Excuse the pun.) As a teenager, I didn’t understand it, totally. It’s not that I didn’t have friends from wealthy families, but this schoolmate was of a different fabric. My impression was that this person just didn’t have interest in the commoners. Honestly, I’m not trying to be rude. It’s the way the air hung over us all when this student walked into the classroom. The nose was always pointed upward, which could be harmful in the rain. After 40 years, I truly thought there would be a maturing — a different chemistry –coming from this old acquaintance. How can you spend four years with a person, yet graduate as strangers? So, two weeks ago, taking a deep breath, I spoke to this person. I asked a couple of questions about mutual friends and mentioned how good it was to see this individual once again. I am sorry to say, there was no change. This person had plastered the old familiar mask to the skin. It had become a lifestyle, a mindset. How tragic. Frankly, it saddened me.
Have you ever been there? I mean, knowing someone, yet NOT knowing THEM, the person as they are at home.
During my career in radio, once a week I worked with a particular part-time air personality. During my time at this one radio station, at midnight I signed off the air Monday through Friday nights. He worked overnight on Friday nights/Saturday mornings. We would banter a bit during the shift change just before I left the control room. Over a two year period, I never felt like I knew the man. He always “put-on” his air-time persona before he walked into the building. As frustrating as it was, I always wished that I could’ve gotten to know HIM, the real HIM. In the end, I only was allowed to meet the mask.
The masks we choose can be the mask of concrete, without smiles, frowns or expressions of any kind. We use masks to masquerade, as a shelter, an easement or comfort to the one behind it. The theory is, if they don’t get to know you, you will be safe from whatever they may throw your way. In this way, the mysterious veil stays in place. It can be a very lonely place. Some masks have an etched smile, common in beauty pageants. If someone wears a constant smile, we may believe life is always perfect for them, without flaw. If the mask is overcooked in a joyful, party-all-the-time-mold, we may not understand the deeply seeded depression beneath the plastic. Robin Williams could testify to that concoction. Maybe it’s a mask of stoicism. This shield on the face appears as if nothing touches the heart, whether sadness, happiness or enlightenment. The idea speaks of hardness, emboldened strength or skin made of iron. In reality, the opposite may be true. You may be married to a mask, gave birth to a mask, have a cleric who is a mask, or have a boss who is a mask. It’s not always so easily detectable.
There’s a biblical instruction on the authenticity displayed in all things, as God sees it. “But let your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ mean ‘no.’ Anything more than this is from the evil one.” – Jesus, Matthew 5:37 (CSBV)
It’s not so much how life-like your self-placed mask may be, or how faulty it may be. The crux is to be a synthetic person, or not. It’s not just about how others see you, or the portrayal you select toward a path of protectionism, but rather how YOU see them. Ironically, the viewers see your entire mask as you hold it up, but there’s a problem looking back at them. Most physical masks I’ve ever worn, tended to have slits or tiny holes for the eyes. Lots of kids trip and fall on Halloween night. Nothing much in life is ever gained by tunnel vision.
YOU are gifted. YOU are stunning. YOU are worth it. YOU have lots to give. No need to hide it from us.
If the truth were revealed, we all hide behind something, even if for short periods of time. If you feel you don’t, it may be proof that you are Teddy Bear or Mickey Mouse.
When transparency directs the day, it might be conducted by fuel for the race.
“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” – Jesus – Matthew 5:14-16 (NAS)